


Dinner Party

by DRHPaints



Series: Kinky Bill One Shots [15]
Category: Bill Hader - Fandom, Bill Hader RPF, Saturday Night Live RPF, Saturday Night Live Sketches
Genre: Aftercare, Alternate Universe - 1950s, Biting, Dom/sub, Established Relationship, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Hair-pulling, Married Couple, Married Sex, One Shot, Restraints, Rough Sex, Saturday Night Live References, Smut, Spanking, Teasing, Vaginal Sex, Verbal Humiliation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:27:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27274156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DRHPaints/pseuds/DRHPaints
Summary: When Bill and his wife Valerie throw a dinner party, they use it as an excuse for foreplay, taunting and teasing one another. Once their guests depart, Bill roughly takes Valerie to the bedroom.
Relationships: Bill Hader/Original Female Character
Series: Kinky Bill One Shots [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1877902
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	Dinner Party

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jainasolo17](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jainasolo17/gifts).



> This fic is based on the sketch ‘A Ladies Guide to Party Planning’ from when January Jones hosted SNL, though OC is not meant to bear any resemblance to her. Here’s the link if you haven’t seen it.
> 
> https://youtu.be/vI_c1F994gs

Filling the hollowed out pineapple with shrimp salad, Valerie glanced up when she heard Bill’s keys jingling in the door. Bill strode in the kitchen, not bothering to take off his trench coat or set down his briefcase before he swooped down to cup her cheek with a large hand. 

“Hello, darling.” Pink lips touching her own, Bill held firm, a light hum buzzing against Valerie before he rocked back on his heels with a smile. “When’s everyone coming?” Looking over the assorted appetizers, the corners of Bill’s mouth turned down appraisingly and he reached for a bite of cheese.

“Now, now…you can’t have any of those yet.” Valerie playfully smacked his hand. Cobalt eyes narrowing, lips pursed, Bill withdrew his arm, albeit reluctantly. “They’ll be here in less than an hour. Just wait.”

A deep chuckle rumbled up from Bill’s chest and he bent down, tucking into Valerie’s neck, breath warm as he planted his lips to the spot beneath her ear. “If you say so,  _ dear _ .” 

Palm creeping down to grab a handful of her ass, Valerie turned into him, threading Bill’s brown and black striped tie through her fingers. “You can’t have any of that yet, either.”

Straightening, Bill’s eyebrows dashed up his forehead for a moment as a slow smirk spread over his wide mouth before retreating to the entryway to hang up his coat.

Guests milling and music tinkling in the background, Valerie set the jello mold on the coffee table and Bill held his empty glass aloft. “Val, darling? Another bourbon?”

Taking it from his hand, Valerie smiled. “Of course, honey.” Busying herself at the liquor cart while Bill amused the throng, Valerie returned and passed him the drink, Bill’s face settling when his gaze fell on its contents. 

“I wanted it neat.” Embers crackling behind his sapphire eyes, Bill’s stare bore into her and Valerie raised an eyebrow.

“Oh?” Seeing The Johnson’s were absorbed in a conversation on the next cushion, Valerie put her hands to her hips, head tilting. “Is it too cold for you, Bill? You need me to fix you another?”

The way her teeth caught her bottom lip, hanging over its plump red surface before releasing; an invitation, a challenge, made Bill’s lengthy fingers tighten about the glass.

He tossed back half of the amber liquid defiantly, stare penetrating Valerie over the rim before placing the condensating drink directly on the coffee table, inches from the coaster. “No, dear. It’s fine. Thank you.”

Valerie watched the beads of water approaching the wooden surface, peered into Bill’s face. Smirking and resting back, Bill’s firm arms slowly crossed over his broad chest as he licked his lips.

Petite body bending at the waist, Valerie made a meal of elevating the glass, delicately whipping out a cocktail napkin and blotting the table, before placing it on the coaster, all the while aware she gave Bill a generous peek at the cleavage below her flower print dress.

Bill absorbed the image of Valerie folded before him, considered making up an excuse to end the party early, but as she traipsed back to the kitchen, switching her voluptuous hips for his benefit, he took a sip and decided it would be worth the wait.

Valerie on the orange chair across from him, Bill took a bite of the jello and frowned. “Hmm.” Catching her eye, he lowered his voice. “Bitter.”

“Oh?” Fork poised in the air, Valerie tilted her head.

“Yes.” Bill placed his plate purposefully on the coffee table, zeroed in on her emerald gaze. “Not your best work.”

The mood in the room shifted, Gerald squirming uncomfortably beside him and his wife darting Valerie an anxious look. “Oh, I’m sorry.” Words honeyed but voice steel, Valerie subtly unraveled her legs to draw attention to them. “I’ll try harder next time.” Plump lips enveloping another bite, Bill’s breath caught as he watched her swallow, the muscles of her swan-like neck undulating.

“You better.” Hardly less than a growl, pink lip curling and sizable hand twitching, the air thrummed with tension before Martin broke in with a story about his devilish boss to draw focus and Bill let his eyes fall from Valerie’s seductive features.

Valerie took an empty tray to the kitchen and Bill rose, palming another to find her hovering before the sink. The merest brush of his fingertips touched her exposed neck and a shiver crawled over Valerie’s skin, lips parting and eyes closed. But when she turned to extend a hand to him, Bill was making his way back to the living room, craning over his shoulder in the final moment, stare dark and mouth severe, expression a fire at which Valerie might warm her hands. Or burn them. 

As Valerie closed the door after the last departing friend with a smile, she stepped out of her too-tall heels and sighed with relief.

Pincer grip on her arms. Stubble grazing her neck. His warmth, his height, crashing over her like an ocean wave, overwhelming and unpredictable, and as Valerie leaned back into Bill’s firm body she ached to be pulled beneath the surface.

“Hello, darling.” His voice was sandpaper, rougher than his chin as Bill intentionally smeared himself down her neck before touching Valerie with his lips, discovering long ago how she reveled in the friction, how they both enjoyed the prickles of pink rising on her tender flesh as a result of her repeated contact with his face. “Did you enjoy the party?”

Valerie wriggled against him, coming to her toes in an attempt to shuffle her round ass into Bill’s crotch, but he tilted his pelvis back, denying her access. “Oh, it was alright, I suppose. How about you, honey?”

“Hmmm.” Pressing his built chest against her, Valerie sensed Bill’s hum reverberating into her spine as he exhaled on her ear, warm and patient. “Could’ve been better.”

“Oh really?” Arching her neck, voice a jeweled chip of desire, Valerie managed to catch the corner of Bill’s mouth with her lips. Pouting against him again, and again, Bill resolutely held, not kissing her back, but Valerie couldn't help but smirk when she saw his left eyelid twitch.

“Yes, dear.” A waver in his tone, Bill doubled his grip on her arms. I think we need to improve your  _ performance.” _ Bearing his teeth, Bill spun Valerie around and marched her step by step to the bedroom.

Once inside, Bill released her arms, unzipping Valerie’s dress with aching slowness, tracing the exposed flesh with his other fingers as it blossomed before him. Pushing the dress from her shoulders, Bill came around to face her and Valerie raised a hand, but he swatted her away, blue eyes icy and muscle in his jawline flashing, whether in welcome or warning, Valerie didn’t know.

Lips latching onto her own, big hand groping her breast through the bra while the other grabbed a fistful of her ass, Bill suddenly mauled her, all hungry mouth and needy touch. Leg wrapping around his waist, Valerie fisted into his short chestnut locks, licking into his mouth, when two large palms came to her shoulders and, with an almost comical puckering noise, Bill extricated himself, pushing her away firmly. 

The loss of contact left Valerie reeling and she took half a hopeful step forward, but two lengthy fingers shot to the hollow of her throat, pressing, commanding, as Bill pursed his lips. “ _ No _ .”

Stepping behind her, Valerie heard the shuffling of fabric for a moment, then Bill  _ tsking _ to himself in consideration. A thumb and forefinger unsnapped her bra, pulling the loops unceremoniously down her arms before it fell to the floor.

Bill yanked Valerie’s wrists behind her back, wrapping them with a practiced dexterity in his tie like a gift, certain he would adore what he found inside. 

Fingers hooked under her panties and Bill peeled them down, smacking her ass to get Valerie to step free of them, nearly overbalancing in her restricted state when her toe hitched on a corner of their lace.

Leaving her poised in the middle of the floor, Bill stood before her. Bill cricked his neck from side to side with a grunt before extending his lower lip and removing his brown jacket. Unblinking, his fingers, somehow so big and yet so dexterous, undid the top button of his crisp white shirt, then paused. 

Bill slipped a thumb beneath one of his suspenders, then the other, inching them off his broad shoulders. Unclipping them from his slacks, Bill wrapped the material around each of his wide palms, sidling up behind Valerie with a smirk.

Erection evident through his pants as he swept past her ass, Valerie witnessed Bill lowering the line of elastic before her, stretched between his hands. Placing the black strip across her ample hips, Bill tugged Valerie to himself, suspenders nipping her lightly as he sank his teeth into her neck. Valerie gasped in delight, bound hands seeking the stiff column of his cock as Bill placed the suspenders across her waist, her nipples, even her neck, drawing her into his broad frame.

Spinning her around, Bill hoisted Valerie under the armpits and effortlessly tossed her diminutive body back onto the mattress. Bill shucked off the rest of his clothes, cock heavy beneath his navel as he climbed onto the bed, penetrating eyes and powerful body swarming over Valerie.

One massive hand went to her shoulder. Then the other. Bill placed a knee in the center of Valerie’s shapely thigh, leaning into her heavily before balancing the second on her last limb, the entirety of his weight pinning her to the mattress.

Hands uncomfortably curving her spine and body splayed, Valerie stared up at Bill’s rapacious expression. Dark eyebrows aloft, a smirk bloomed on his wide mouth. “Well hello there, darling.”

Smiling up at him, Bill straightened his body over Valerie and slithered an arm between them, parting the lips of her pussy and notching his hard cock in between before he began grinding against her. “Mmm…” Bill hooked under her shoulders, bearing down hard, wide head of his cock skipping alluringly over her clit and eliciting a moan from Valerie’s lips.

“You like that, dear?” Swiveling his hips faster, Bill felt her slickness beneath him. “You like when I rub you with my cock?”

“I love it, Bill.” Valerie breathed, rocking into him and squirming. “Yes, you feel so good…”

Eyes falling closed, Bill rested his forehead to hers, arms snaking beneath to clutch Valerie’s ass to himself and thrusting urgently for a moment before, with a resounding groan, he stilled. “ _ No _ .” Bill appeared to be talking to himself as he sharply inhaled, sitting up.

Strong arms hauling her into the air, Bill flopped Valerie onto the mattress and the air shot out of her lungs as he scrunched his hands over her hips, pulling her back to her knees. 

“I’m going to fuck you so goddamn hard, dear.” Clapping against her ass, Bill’s thick cock stretched her and Valerie gasped. Wasting no time, Bill pounded Valerie recklessly, shaking the bed with such velocity the headboard dented the wall. 

Raising a hand high in the air, Bill cracked a wide palm over her ass, delighting in Valerie’s squeal and repeating himself until the outline of his fingers glowed red as he pummeled inside of her. 

“ _ Oh Bill! Yes! Yes!”  _ Valerie cried, desperately trying to drive herself back onto his hammering cock from her restricted position as she panted a wet spot into the sheets.

“Yeah, you like that?  _ Huh? _ ” Bill snarled, slamming furiously, other fingers moving around her hip to race over Valerie’s clit. “You like the way I fuck you? Huh?  _ HUH?” _

“ _ Yes, Bill! Fuck me! Harder! Yes!”  _ Bending forward Bill smacked a hand over Valerie’s scalp, shoving her face into the mattress as she cinched around his mercilessly barreling cock, screaming and quaking beneath him.

“ _ Fuck! Yes, Val, cum on my cock!” _ Bill roared, twisting a fist in her hair and leaning back, angling inside to tamp against her cluster of nerves with a vengeance. “ _ Cum again! Now! NOW!” _

Unable to resist his demand, Valerie’s eyes fluttered as she seized around him, shrieking Bill’s name and drenching him with the evidence of her desire. 

Laying her flat, Bill kneed Valerie’s legs apart, wedging an arm underneath her body and across her chest before he began viciously humping.

“ _ Oh Val, Fuck! Yes!” _ Scratchy cheek scraping her again and again, Bill heaved next to Valerie’s ear, whimpers gathering in his muscular chest. “ _ You’re gonna make me cum, Val! Fuck! _ ” Bill’s fingers dug into her flesh and he froze before emitting a tumbling whine, pelvis leaping and pulse after pulse of warm cum flooding Valerie’s prone form.

His huge body enclosed her, cocoon like, long limbs folding Valerie in and rocking them back and forth as Bill kissed her cheek, her neck, her back. “ _ Valerie… _ ”

Reaching between them he removed his tie, Valerie pumping her hands to get the circulation back while Bill tenderly began lifting the pins from her hair, unraveling the updo and lacing all ten fingers against her scalp, pulling to the end of her crimson tresses as he gradually went soft inside of her.

Lips touching the nape of her neck, Bill’s hands flowed down Valerie’s arms, giving her a squeeze before he slowly extricated himself and rolled out of bed. Bill padded back to the bedroom with a glass of ice water and a warm grin. 

“There you are, beautiful.” 

Smiling, Valerie propped herself up on an elbow and accepted. “Thank you.”

Fingers trickling over the line of her curves, Bill soaked Valerie in as she sipped. “The jello really was quite good, dear.”

Valerie chuckled. “Thank you, Bill.” Placing the glass behind her on the bedside table, she tucked herself into Bill’s strong, supple body and he kissed Valerie’s forehead, nestling together contentedly before falling asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read! If you enjoyed this story, please leave a comment or come say hi on tumblr at fandomtransmandom. I also take requests!


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